Valentine’s Tip No. 1: Self-Love

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE

Self love is a great base of honestly being happy and expressing real love towards other people. Self love, not like egocentrism or narcissism, but as treating yourself with kindness, respect and honesty. Writing this blog during a super busy period, such as fashion week, allows me to reflect more and to stop for a minute and express some self love to myself and then to all of you who are reading this blog. Love is especially searched keyword, especially today on Valentines day, so let’s start.

“When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.” —Diane von Furstenberg

SELF-KINDNESS

It is super important to have empathy and respect, not only towards other people but mostly towards yourself. We live in time where its almost normal to say something like “ah stupid me”, ” I look fat in this”, “I am not pretty enough” and similar derogatory phrases. Its time to accept ourselves more than ever. It certainly comes with age, and as we go through different experiences, we get more comfortable in our own skin and start valuing our strengths, but also acknowledge our weaknesses without criticising ourselves too harshly. Nobody is perfect, and sooner you accept your flaws life becomes so much better.

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SELF AWARENESS

In order to love ourselves more, we need to be the ones in control of our life. Take the time everyday to note what you love about yourself and reflect on what made you feel good and content. But be self-aware, know that it will take you a lot of time to get there and be ready to be honest about the past and what you wish for in the future. I read many books about self love and acceptance, and they often seemed a bit bizzare. Accept your self? Easier said then done. I ll tell you what helped me.

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TIME FOR YOURSELF

Did you have a chance to really meet yourself? Something that is not much talked about, but plays a huge role in self-love is having some alone-time. We are often so busy working or being there for other people that we forget to be there for ourselves. I, personally, as a pisces, need to have at least 10 minutes for myself during the day. So even if there are super busy months, such as fashion weeks, I have to find at least a few minutes per day only for myself. In those times I give myself a tap on the back for everything I have done instead of focusing on everything I havent done.

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Comparison is an assassin to self-love. What people often do it to take our greatest flaws and compare them to someone else’s greatest achievement. In short, you’re meant to fail. Instead, realise that you write your story. I have learned so long ago never to compare myself, and I think this is the main key to my happiness. Comprehend that you can’t correlate your life to someone else’s because no matter how well you know them, you never know how they feel or how they perceive their life. Not everybody reacts the same in similar situations. We are all so very different. Remember? Instead, spend your time and energy to sustain and raise your path.

DO NOT COMPLAIN

Complaining is almost never a positive reaction to our circumstance. We also get into this bad habit of speaking negatively or sarcastically about our lives.  That easily leads us into the negative headspace that leads to further unhappiness and disappointment. So don’t ever lose sight over how powerful words can be, use them to lift yourself up. It shifts your focus to the positive. It allows gratefulness to take root. And joy can be an exceptional beautifier. Dont take yourself too seriously, joke, have fun and accept. You broke your favourite heel? Instead of dwelling, laugh about it. 

ACCEPT THAT THE FEELING IS THERE

Make a decision to really understand whatever negative feeling is there and try to accept it. It’s there anyway. So you should try to talk to yourself, like with your best friend and to try to find a reasonable solution for the problem you have. Everything in this world is solvable, at least in your head. So try and always do solve the problems, first with yourself .

The thing that helped me the most to accept myself and the situation is asking “AND SO WHAT?”, not enough and all of the other bad things we say to ourselves when negative, SO WHAT? It doesnt make us less valuable, it will never mean that you deserve less. Life is here, accept it and have the best fun with it.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I am so much looking forward to hear your comments and your view on importance of self love.

Happy Valentine’s Day my loves! <3

xoxo, Tamara

5 Comments

  1. Oly Gómez
    Feb 14, 2020 / 3:30 pm

    Omg tamara, this was really nice to read, especially in a day like today where all we see in social media is “relationship” kind of post, may we never forget everything starts with ourselves

  2. navjot
    Feb 14, 2020 / 8:04 pm

    love love love the creativity in this post tamara x

  3. Feb 16, 2020 / 11:57 am

    Great blogpost and I absolutely adore the photos! :) self love is something I try to work on constantly, but I find it extremely difficult to stop talking negatively to myself or about myself! As you said here, you should put yourself first and treat yourself as you would a friend, yet it is sometimes devastating whenever I catch myself once again thinking very negative thoughts about myself, my achievements, my life situation… One tip I would like to share with everyone who also struggles with this is to be very aware of those negative thoughts and stop them right away! Think, “no, I will not talk to myself like that!” and steer your thoughts to something else – it does work often times!
    Trying to work on it one day at a time :)
    xx Janine
    https://walkinmysneaks.blogspot.com

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