Embarrassing photos of my teenage self :)
We often think about the past events in life and wonder what would we change. Reminiscing about situations and changing scenarios in head, maybe I should have said this, or that, wonder what would they say then. I of course sometimes have situations where I say “Ahh, I should have said that”, but in all honesty, I am happy about all of my choices in the past and all of the mistakes I made because they moulded me into the person I am today. If we never did anything wrong, how would we know whats right? Thats why I decided to write this letter to my younger self, in which you will be also able to get to know what were my biggest fears and thoughts.
Dear 16 year old Tamara, at this point of your life it might seem that the whole world is on your back. The pressure comes from everywhere. High School is supposed to be the time when you make best memories of your life and as much as you are loving it, there are also times when it seems like a battle field. One thing I would tell to my younger self is that I don’t have to make decisions for life there and then. Deciding on university seemed like a choice you can only make once, and that there is no way back. I would tell myself that even making a wrong decision doesn’t mean that your life is over. What you study isn’t always what you will do, and what you start studying doesn’t always have to be finished. I used to stress so much about making the right decision in my final year of high school that I couldn’t relax and enjoy it. Getting into wrong university doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind, well, like Steve Jobs said “You cannot connect dots looking forward, but you can connect dots looking backwards, eventually all the dots will connect”.
As if stressing about future isn’t enough, but stressing about present was involved in my day to day life. I would tell myself not to worry and get annoyed by people who would talk behind my back or try to be mean. Every single teenager experiences that in their life. It is not just you, and it is really not even that personal. In high school I learned that people who are really happy about themselves and their lives don’t have time to talk and discuss other people’s lives. Ignore people who are trying to put you down and who want to make themselves feel better by making you feel less. That takes me to the next topic, you don’t have to be friends with everyone.
If people are trying to use you, or are not being good friends to you, you don’t need them. Be friends with honest and true people, there is no need to try and be friends with everyone. In high school I really wore my heart on the sleeve, I though everyone is nice, I trusted many people, and learned my lesson. Be a little bit more cautious, don’t let everyone in your life, and don’t confide in everyone.
You also don’t have to be at every party. Sometimes missing events that you are invited to is absolutely fine. One thing I am so proud of myself is that I never stayed at parties I didn’t have fun at, but I really didn’t want to miss any, which meant that I was often really tired after weekends. I picked up some of the best people skills in high school, but also had many sleepless nights, which resulted in more stress. Take time and relax, its ok.
If your best friend looks amazing with blue eye liner, it doesn’t mean you will too. Experimenting is great, but try to learn the limits, bronzer also shouldn’t be applied all over your face, but if that will help you learn for the future, then be it. I had phases of thin eye brows, natural eye brows, no makeup to school, a lot of makeup to school. All of this did help me get to know myself better and learn what suits me, but as a little advice, my dear younger self, invest in few good quality products, which will be gentle to your skin, rather than having many many products that are not of a great quality. Quality always comes first. As you can see in the photos above, I tried different hair colours, I plucked my eye brows like there was no tomorrow, and tried different styles. Maybe lay off the tweezers I would say, less is sometimes really more.
All those personal relationships that didn’t work out, arguments with friends, misunderstandings, bad marks from physics or boys that didn’t like you back seemed like the world is really about to end. Honestly today I look at all those events and sometimes laugh out loud. All those people were also teenagers, physics can be learned and you will get a better mark next time. Boys will be boys, and there are so many more of them, you certainly won’t marry the one you fancy at the age of 16 anyway. Try and don’t take life too seriously so that you can enjoy it. Like Woody Allen once said “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Not everything is gonna go according to the plan, so sit back, fasten the seatbelt and enjoy the ride. After all, you ae a teenager only once, so don’t ruin it by too many worries that just aren’t worth it.
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Cesto razmisljamo o nekim dogadjajima u zivotu i razmisljamo sta bismo promenili. Okrenem i ja ponekad neki scenario u glavi i pitam se da li sam mozda trebala reci ovo ili ono, sta bi onda oni odgovorili. Nekad se i pokajem sto nisam nesto drugo rekla, pa i smislim novo resenje, ali da budem veoma iskrena sa vama, jako sam srecna sa svim izborima koje sam napravila u zivotu i cak i sa greskama koje sam ucinila, jer me danas cine osobom kakva jesam. Kada ne bismo u zivotu gresili, kako bismo znali sta je ispravno? Zato sam odlucila da napisem ovo pismo, nekoj 10 godina mladjoj sebi, a mislim da cete me i vi bolje upoznati a mozda i sebe prepoznati kroz neke situacije u mom odrastanju.
Draga tinejdz Tamara, u ovom delu zivota mozda ti se cini kako je ceo svet na tvojim ledjima. Pritisak dolazi sa svih strana. Srednja skola bi trebala biti vreme kada uzivas u svemu i stvaras najbolje uspomene, ali iako ima trenutaka kada si srecna, tu su i trenuci kada se osecas kao da si na ratnom frontu. Jedna stvar koju bih porucila svojoj mladjoj verziji je da odluke koje tada doneses nece upropastiti tvoj zivot zauvek. Biranje fakulteta mi se cinilo kao da je odluka koju donesem jednom i koju nikada vise necu moci promeniti. Mislila sam da ako donesem pogresnu odluku sa istom moram ziveti zauvek i da cu se kajati do kraja zivota. Ono sto zavrsis ne moras i raditi, a ono sto upises ne znaci da ces zavrsiti. Ponekad zivot sam utice na tvoje odluke zato nemoj da gubis san zbog toga. Kao sto je Steve Jobs rekao: “Ne mozes spojiti tacke gledajuci unapred, ali ih mozes spojiti ako se osvrnes unazad, na kraju ce se sve tacke spojiti”.
Kao da stres u vezi buducnosti nije dovoljan, ti si morala da stresiras i oko drugih stvari. Porucila bih ti da se ne sekiras oko ljudi koji ti pricaju lose iza ledja ili te namerno nerviraju. Svaki tinejdzer to iskusi i zaista nije nista licno. U srednjoj skoli ljudi koji nisu zadovoljnoi sobom i svojim zivotima moraju da se bave tudjim. Ignorisi ljude koji te ponizavaju i zele da spuste na njihov nivo samo kako bi se oni osecali bolje u vezi sebe. Sazali se nad njima, jer da su srecni ne bi se tako ponasali. To me vec dovodi do sledece teme, a to je da ne moras biti prijatelj sa svima.
Ako neki of tvojih drugara ne umeju da budu pravi prijatelji, ako hoce da te iskoriste, ako te gnjave samo kako bi prepisivali od tebe ili kako bi im pomogla, ti to ne moras da uradis. Budi prijatelj pravim, iksrenim i vrednim ljudima, ne moras se druziti i biti u odlicnim odnosima sa svima. U srednjoj skoli sam zaista drzala sve karte na stolu, bila sam iskrena i otvorena sa svima, mislila sam da su svi ljudi dobri, zelela da se druzim sa svima i naucila lekciju. Treba biti pazljiv, kome verujete, kome se divite i sa kime se druzite.
Takodje ne moras otici na svaku zurku. Rodjendani su velika stvar u srednjom skoli, ali ako propustis neki nije kraj sveta. Jako sam ponosna na sebe sto nikada nisam ostajala na zabavama tek radi reda, vec iako sam imala i duzi izlaz, odlazila bih kuci kada bi mi bilo nezanimljivo. Ipak, nisam htela da propustim neke zabave ili dogadjaje, te sam cesto bila umorna jer bih nekada za jedno vece imala i po tri rodjendana. U srednjoj skoli sam zaista naucila i pokupila mnoge bitne lekcije u tome kako sa ljudima, drustvene sposobnosti, ali bih volela da sam se ponekad i odmorila vikendom, jer je i to izuzetno vazno.
Ako tvoja najbolja drugarica izgleda super za plavim lajnerom, ne znaci da ces i ti. Eksperimentisanje je sjajno, ali treba nauciti i granice. Bronzer se ne aplicira po celoj faci, ali ako ce ti to pomoci da naucih za buducnost onda okej. Imala sam fazu sa tankim obrvama, sa prirodnim obrvama, bez sminke u skoli, sa sminkom u skoli. Sve ovo mi je pomoglo da naucim sta mi dobro stoji a sta ne, ali mali savet mojoj mladjoj sebi, radije ulozi u samo par kvalitetnih proizvoda koje ces nanositi na svoje lice, nego da ih imas vise koji nisu toliko dobri. Kvalitet uvek ispred kvantiteta. Kao sto mozete videti na slikama iznad, cupala sam obrve kao da sutra ne postoji i probavala razlicite boje kose. Sada kad razmislim, mozda bih rekla “Odlozi tu pincetu, manje je nekad stvarno vise”.
Sve te veze i odnosi koji se nisu izgradili, svadje ili prepirke, losa ocena iz fizike, decaci koji nisu uzvracali simpatije, sve mi se cinilo kao nesto najstrasnije na svetu.Iskreno, danas se setim nekih stvari i nasmejem na glas. Sve te drugarice su takodje bile tinejdzerke, fiziku ces nauciti i popraviti. Decaci, pa njih barem ima dovoljno sirom celog sveta, sigurno se ne bi udala za tog sto ti se dopao sa 16 godina. Nemoj da shvatas zivot toliko ozbiljno, nego samo uzivaj. Kao sto je Woody Allen rekao:” Ako zelis da nasmejes Boga, reci mu svoje planove”. Nece sve ispasti onako kako si planirala, zato se udobno smesti, svezi pojas i uzivaj u voznji. Na kraju krajeva, tinejdzer si samo jednom, zato nemoj da brines o stvarima koje zaista nisu vredne toga.
