Perfect Life Illusion || Monday Confession

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“I wish I had your life, it seems so amazing” or “Your life seems so perfect, If I could only be you…” are some of the variations of comments I have been receiving lately. They really got me thinking, and inspired me to write a whole blog post on this topic, do bloggers and youtubers falsely portray an image of perfect life? Often unintended it seems that this is what general masses think, grass is always greener in the neighbours garden, and in this case certain internet personalities have amazing problem-free lives. I think its time to clarify certain things.

We all want a perfect life, healthy family, true love, to wake up every morning looking amazing and to have anything we desire. There is often that one thing, just one that we need and then we will be absolutely happy, you know like a new lap top, job, or A in maths, or to have more beautiful skin, happy relationship? Once you get that one thing, immediately there is another one that you need to get or achieve to be happy. Meaning that chasing happiness is a vicious circle. If I say that perfect life doesn’t exist I will immediately be classified as a pessimist which I refuse to be, since that is not quite what I am, but neither am I idealist. I know that perfect life ONLY exists if you come to terms with that in your head but I will leave that for the conclusion of this post.

I am well aware that I might have more than a lot of people my age. There is also a lot of people who have more than me. I am also aware that a lot of my decisions in life seem to you like they were the right for me, things just naturally come to me, I moved countries when I was only 18 started new life, made friends without any difficulty, went through 5 years of education like its a breeze just to get the job of my dreams fall into my lap, or is that the case?
I am talking from the experience of my fellow blogger friends and myself just to tell you that what you see online, on our blogs or youtube channels is only a very small part of our lives, only a very tiny fraction of everyday that we chose to show you. But we are all humans, and even though it seems like we have everything, we go through personal ups and downs, struggle in personal relationships, or even feel down without reason when under pressure from time to time.

I am not going to write about my bad day, about not meeting a deadline, or about not getting on with woman at work because she feels like she is better with me. I mean, seriously we all have our own problems, but after a long day all you want to see is a happy face online, a lot of beautiful photos, and to experience something different which is exactly the point of my blog. I want to take every single one of you on this huge adventure with me, so that you have interesting, entertaining content you can read about when you get home from work, when you don’t want to think about argument with your best friend, or even when you are bored.
Now don’t think that I am superficial, I know very well that there are also serious problems that a lot of my readers encounter with, like losing someone you love, getting ill, or having your heart broken- which I was also not immune to in my life. We have ALL at some point had our heart broken, once or many times, the only thing is that it always seems like other people are dealing with their problems in a much easier way. You know the good old “Other peoples problems seem always so much smaller”. Well I like to think that everyone gets as much as they can handle.

Its easy to go online and check out how your favourite bloggers look great, while wearing head to toe Chanel, Hermes, Louboutin and Jimmy Choo while attending some of the most amazing events you would kill to be at. That is when the assumption that they have a perfect life comes from. You might come on my blog and see me smiling and enjoying in some of the perks that my job offers. I absolutely love luxury brands and quality they come with, as you can see in the photoshoot we did, but I work hard for everything I have, including my place at all of those events which can not be bought with no amount of money. Trust me, I do not think that I deserve everything in life, and that I am the one who should have it all, on the contrary I am the one who wants to work for everything and even when I achieve it I feel extremely grateful for what I have. I never said that everyone should own expensive luxury things, but I am the one who chooses to invest her money in quality and not quantity. I never regretted buying something by a reputable brand and I like to be ambassador for saving to be one high end piece rather than buying a lot of lesser quality ones.

Even when I am writing a post from prestigious event dressed in amazing clothes, I am not telling you about obstacles I had that day. I don’t speak about my fears, failures, about hardships I encounter, negativity from certain people around me or even pressure and stress. I want to talk about light topics and funny subjects that would make you all feel better, and closer to me. I want you to enjoy in what I am experiencing as much as I am.

We are all familiar with term Utopia- an imagined place or state in which everything is perfect. Note the word in italic.
Perfect life exists only if we create it, if we tell ourselves that actually, failure is a concept that humans created, something only known to us if we accept it. But the same goes for the success. Your success might not be success in someone else’s eyes, they might think that you just got lucky, that you don’t deserve it, or that you had good connections for getting where you are. Susanna Tamaro wrote “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked three moons in his moccasins”. Remember that there is a reason for everything, even the person you look up to the most has been through the hard times, and that should only motivate you to decide to take your life in your own hands and to look at it as being perfect.

Everyone has hard times, noone’s life is better than yours, so don’t blame yourself, feel bad or hate other people for what seems ideal, after all Utopia is only an imagined place!

 

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“Volela bih da zivim tvoj zivot, izgleda savrseno” ili “Vau, tvoj zivot je tako idealan kada bih mogla biti ti…” su neki od komentara koje u poslednje vreme primam sve cesce i cesce. To me zaista nateralo na razmisljanje i inspirisalo da napisem ovaj post. Da li YouTuberi i blogeri lazno predstavljaju svoje zivote savrsenim? Vrlo cesto nenamerno ovo bude slucaj, zbog cega publika bude u zabludi, a pogotovo jer je kod komsije trava uvek zelenija, ispada da internet licnosti zive zivot bez problema. Mislim da je vreme da se neke stvari razjasne.

Svi mi zelimo savrsen zivot, zdravlje, porodicu, pravu ljubav, da se probudimo svako jutro besprekornog izgleda i da imamo sve sto zelimo. Uvek postoji ono nesto, samo jedna stvar koja nam je potrebna da bismo bili srecni. Znate i sami mozda je to lap top, posao, 5 iz matematike, cista koža, sreca u vezi? Kada dobijete to sto ste zeleli, istog momenta tu je nesto drugo za cime zudite, nesto sto vam fali do te cuvene srece. To znaci da je juriti srecu jednako kao juriti svoju senku – zacarani krug. Ukoliko kazem da savrsen zivot ne postoji sama cu sebe svrstati u grupu pesimista, sto ne zelim, jer sam daleko od toga, ali nisam ni idealista. Stojim cvrtso na zemlji i znam da savrsen zivot postoji SAMO ako ga vi izaberete za sebe, ali tu filozofiju cu ostaviti za zakljucak ove teme.

Svesna sam da mozda imam vise nego vecina ljudi mojih godina. Ali isto tako postoji mnogo ljudi koji imaju vise od mene. Takodje sam svesna da se vama moze uciniti kako su sve moje odluke u zivotu bile prave, da mi dobre stvari dolaze same od sebe, da su novi prijatelji, kada sam se preselila u drugu drzavu sa 18 godina, kucali na vrata sa svih strana se druzimo, da mi je 5 godina skolovanja u ovoj zemlji bilo kao ucenje azbuke, a da je posao iz mojih snova pao s neba bas u moje krilo. A da li je to stvarno slucaj? Pricam vam ne samo iz sopstvenog iskustva vec i iz iskustva mnogih mojih prijatelja blogera. Ono sto vidite na internetu, na nasim blogovima i youtube kanalima je samo mali deo nasih zivota, samo decimalni procenat onoga kroz sta prolazimo svaki dan i ono sto izaberemo da vam pokazemo. Svi smo mi ljudska bica i iako vam se mozda cini da imamo sve sto pozelimo, takodje prolazimo kroz licne uspone i padove, imamo poteskoce u vezama, a nekad budemo i tuzni jer se osecamo kad da je sav pritisak ovog sveta na nama.

Necu vam pisati o teskom danu, o tome kako nisam uspela da zavrsim obaveze pre roka, ni o zeni sa kojom se ne slazem na poslu jer misli da je bolja od mene u svakom pogledu. Mislim da svi mi imamo svoje probleme i da nakon dugog i teskog dana zasluzujete nasmejano lice na internetu, mnogo lepih slika, i da iskusite nesto drugacije, sto je upravo svrha mog bloga. Zelim da povedem sve i jednog od vas na avanturu sa mnom, da se zabavite uz interesantan sadrzaj koji mozete pogledati kada se vratite kuci s posla, iz skole kada ne zelite da razmisljate o svadji sa prijateljicom ili kada vam je dosadno.
Nemojte misliti da sam povrsna, znam veoma dobro da se neki od vas bore sa velikim problemima, da se ljudi susrecu sa ozbiljnim stvarima kao sto je gubitak voljene osobe, bolest ili slomljeno srce- na sve ove stvari ni ja nisam bila imuna u zivotu. Ja volim da mislim da svako dobije onoliko tereta koliko moze da ponese.

Lako je otici na vase omiljene internet stranice, videti blogere koji izgledaju sjano, dok obilaze najprestiznije dogadjaje obuceni u Chanel, Hermes, Louboutin i Jimmy Choo. Tada vam razne pretpostavke padaju na pamet, kao i cuvena iluzija o savrsenom zivotu. Mozda cete doci na moj blog i videti da se smejem uzivajuci u nekim od povlastica koje mi posao pruza. Licno volim prestizne marke, i kvalitet koji se uz njih podrazumeva, ali radim svaki dan u nedelji veoma naporno da bih mogla da imam ne samo materijalne stvari vec i mesto na tim gore pomenutim dogadjajima, a to je nesto sto ne mozete kupiti. Verujte mi, nisam osoba koja misli da zasluzuje sve na svetu, niti neko ko misi da bih najbolje stvari trebale da se desavaju bas meni, suprotno od toga, ja radim dano-nocno za ono sto zelim da ostvarim i neizmerno sam zahvalna na svemu sto mi se desi. Nikada nisam rekla da svi treba da imaju skupe i luksuzne stvari ali sam ja osoba koja voli da ulaze novac u kvalitet a ne kvantitet. Nikada nisam pozalila kupovinu necega sto je kvalitetno i predstavnik sam onih koji se zalazu za cuvanje novca dok ne sakupim dovoljno da priustim taj zeljeni skuplji predmet. Bilo kako bilo, novac svakako ne podrazumeva srecu, a ni savrsen zivot.

Cak i kada pisem postove sa najprestiznijih modnih dogadjaja, obucena u skupocenu odecu, ne znaci da taj dan nisam imala neke prepreke. Ne pricam o mojim strahovima, padovima, o teskim trenutcima sa kojima se susrecem, ne pricam ni o negativnosti drugih ljudi ili pritisku i stresu svakodnevnice. Zelim da pricam o laganim temama koje ce vas oraspoloziti i zbog kojih cete se osecati kao moji prijatelji, jer vas ja tako posmatram. Zelim da uzivate u stvarima u kojima i ja uzivam.

Svi smo upoznati sa terminom Utopia- Zamisljeno mesto ili stanje u kojem je sve savrseno. Obratite paznju na rec ispisanu kosim slovima.
Savrsen zivot postoji samo ukoliko ga sami stvorimo, ako sami sebi kazemo da je neuspeh zapravo samo koncept koji je ljudska rasa stvorila, nesto sto je poznato samo nama ako ga prihvatimo. Ali isto vazi i za uspeh. Nece svako misliti da je vas uspeh upravo to, neko ce reci da vas je uhvatila sreca, da vam je neko sredio ili da zapravo oni takav uspeh ne bi voleli. Sve je u nacinu na koji VI posmatrate svoj zivot. Nemojte se porediti sa ljudima pogotovo ne sa onima o kojima ne znate mnogo. Nemojte ni da sudite njihovim zivotima osim ako niste u njihovima cipelama hodali 3 mesece mene kao sto je u svojoj knjizi napisala Suzana Tamaro. Zapamtite da se sve desava sa razlogom i da cak i osoba kojoj se najvise divite ima svoje padove i da sami sebe morate motivisati da na svoj zivot gledate kao na savrsen, jer je to jedini nacin na koji ce to biti.

Svi ponekad imamo teske trenutke, niciji zivot nijebolji od vaseg, zato nemojte da se osecate lose, da krivite sebe ili da mrzite druge jer vam se cini da je njihov zivot bolji, uostalom, Utopia je samo mesto iz maste.

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50 Comments

  1. Nov 3, 2014 / 7:12 am

    So inspiring T. Keep the good work and head up :)

  2. Nov 3, 2014 / 7:42 am

    Tamara,ja sebi zelim da izgradim zivot kakav zelim ali sam osoba koja zacrta sebi ciljeve i posle mesec dana oni ispare! Volela bih da mi pomognes u tome kao da ne budem toliko lenja i da u danu natrpam stvari u plan da vise nista u njega ne moze da se ubaci!
    Idem u skolu i imam odlicne ocene ali posle dva meseca motivacija je spala da veoma niski nivo!!!Volela bih da upisem Medicinsku skolu i moras mi pomoci kako da istrajem u tome jer za smer koji zelim potrebno je 95 poena!

    • lilianna
      Nov 3, 2014 / 9:52 am

      želim ti da ostvariš ciljeve, ali razmisli koliko opterećenje i presing stavljaš na Tamaru. zašto misliš da ti ona MORA pomoći? zar ne misliš da je dovoljna motivacija da nju imaš u svom životu kao fenomenalnu inspiraciju? jedina osoba koja ti može pomoći da ostvariš ciljeve si TI. tvoje odluke, tvoja koncentracija, tvoji postupci. to funkcionira isto kao i sreća, nećeš je naći nigdje osim u sebi.sretno!!

  3. Montenegrina
    Nov 3, 2014 / 7:54 am

    Tami predivno napisan uvodni text! Jako je lijepo sto si realna, i sto cijenis sve sto imas i sto se za to debelo trudis! Lijepo je sto savjetujes svoje citatelje i sto im dajes pozitivne savjete. Jer bez obzira na skupu odjecu, novac i druge materijalne stvari covjek treba bitu covjek! A toga je danas sve manje i manje, nazalost… Nastavi sa inspirativnim textovima i voljela bih da snimis video o nekim knjigama koje takodje nose pozitivnu poruku :) volim te! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  4. Anonimus
    Nov 3, 2014 / 8:18 am

    Slazem se. Svako od nas kada bi predstavio svoj zivot na kraju dana, mnogo drugacije bi to izgledalo nego onako kako je obicno u nasim glavama. Tj. mogli bismo ga predstaviti kao sjajan ili kao grozan, sve je u nasem stavu. Naravno, neko ima vise problema, neko manje, ali podrzavam taj stav da sve polazi iz glave i naseg gledanja na stvari, zivot, druge ljude…
    Ja uzivam u tvom blogu, bas tako kako si opisala, i super ti ide pisanje ponedjeljkom ;)

  5. Nov 3, 2014 / 8:32 am

    This is such a good read! So true. From the outside ones life might seem perfect. However, the www draws a lot of illusion. I think it’s so good to tell it how it really is!

  6. Nov 3, 2014 / 8:33 am

    Very interesting post, it can be hard to remember that what you see on people’s blogs doesn’t show the whole picture. I think that’s why I enjoy watching vlogs as they’re a bit more ‘real’.

    Ella xx

  7. K
    Nov 3, 2014 / 9:25 am

    Ovo je toliko istinito i drago mi je sto si se dotakla ove teme. Svuda u svetu, a narocito u Srbiji (posto nam je zemlja takva kakva jeste) mlade devojke toliko teze materijalnim stvarima ali umesto da ih kupe svojim radom, one biraju neke druge puteve. Ti si glas razuma nase generacije.

  8. Nov 3, 2014 / 9:27 am

    Just amazing post to read, Monday confession rocks every Monday :)

  9. Nov 3, 2014 / 9:48 am

    Very inspiring, thanks for sharing some moments from your life other than just outfits <3

  10. Nov 3, 2014 / 10:13 am

    Predivan post! Htela bih da znam nakon koliko godina je tvoj blog postao popularan i nakon koliko godina si pocela da zaradjujes od njega.Obožavam te! :)
    ~~~vrgov.blogspot.com~~~

  11. Nov 3, 2014 / 10:24 am

    Wise words Tamara. I used to travel all over the world on business & my friends always thought it was such a glamorous career, flying first class staying in amazing hotels, visiting incredible cities, what they didn’t see was me having to go straight from the airport after a 14 hour flight to do a full days work…not so glamorous!
    Like you, I prefer to save for more luxury items so this post really resonated with me!
    Hugs xoxo
    http://www.intotheblonde.com/

  12. Nov 3, 2014 / 10:27 am

    I love this photos!
    I want all of yuor packages,
    XOXO

    Today’s Waterproof Bags like Harrod’s

  13. Nov 3, 2014 / 11:04 am

    This photoshoot is absolutely amazing! It’s like a dream come true!

  14. Nov 3, 2014 / 11:15 am

    Ma savrsen post i tema je odlicno pogodjena, pogotovo sad, u ovo doba kad nam sva pusta tehnologija daje uvid u “zivote” i stvari koje poznati i nepoznati nam ljudi posjeduju…
    Sve to moze navoditi samo na lose, depresiju, zavidnost, frustraciju… Ljudi u danasnje vrijeme imaju tako iskrivljenu sliku o svemu da vise ni sami ne znaju sto je istina a sto nije.

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

  15. mirela
    Nov 3, 2014 / 11:58 am

    Jako lijep i jako DOBAR post.
    Meni su blogovi mali bijeg iz zivota,barem nakratko ne mislim na obaveze.
    I da su blogovi drugaciji iliti realniji vjerovatno ne bi nitko ni citao bllogove.
    I zato volim škicati sve te divne stvari,kozmetiku,putovanja,odjecu,torbe…korisno je vidjeti sta je u trendu i koji kozmeticki proizvod valja kupiti a koji ne.
    Svaki dan pratim blog i youtube kanal,samo tako nastavi super ti ide. :-)

  16. Anonymous
    Nov 3, 2014 / 12:42 pm

    Divan post, inspirativan. Upravo htedoh da napišem SAVRŠEN, ali sam to zamenila divnim, jer si upravo o tome pisala.

  17. Anonymous
    Nov 3, 2014 / 12:44 pm

    Ovim si me motivisala, da život ne može biti Utopija. Taman kada sam zaboravila važnu stvar na putovanju, zbog koje sam žalila, juče mi se vratila, bila je ostavljena u autobusu, i vratili su mi je. Međutim, evo danas sam se posvađala sa drugaricom, i sada mi je jako krivo.
    UTOPIJA NE POSTOJI.

  18. Tea
    Nov 3, 2014 / 12:56 pm

    Bravo! Kopirala sam si jedan dio u word! Hvala ti, predivna si :-* :-D

  19. Anita
    Nov 3, 2014 / 1:15 pm

    Prekrasna si, realna, normalna, pametna… Bravo za svaku riječ, cijenim te još i više!

  20. Nov 3, 2014 / 2:47 pm

    Samim ovim postom pokazujes da si lijepa i iznutra koliko si izvana, predivan post, meni si dala materijala za razmišljati :) Hvala!

    majalasic.blogspot.com

  21. Hollie Garner
    Nov 3, 2014 / 2:53 pm

    Wow,amazing post,life has it’s up’s and down’s for everyone,you have worked very hard for what you do have Tamara and i for one respect that.You deserve everything in life and i want to thank you for putting a smile on my face so many times and doing what you do and being YOU,makes many people happy,so Thank you so much!
    Hollie xxx

    ps-i wish you might concider following me on twitter,i would be so so honoured!xx

  22. mara
    Nov 3, 2014 / 3:37 pm

    Tvoj blog je kao kolacic uz kafu, nesto lepo, slatko, veselo i milo i ponekad bih volela da objavljujes postove jos cesce :-) Pri tom, to sto radis bi bilo povrsno da se radi samo o odevnim kombinacijama, ovako, sigurna sam da ima puno devojaka i pre svega devojcica, koje su zarazene tvojom pozitivnom energijom i upornoscu, a to je vise nego divna stvar.

  23. Anonymous
    Nov 3, 2014 / 4:08 pm

    Are you still in relationship with Arsenal player? :))

  24. Nov 3, 2014 / 4:15 pm

    I was having this exact discussion with someone at the weekend! It’s kind of the same as social media really, in this day and age we can portray the life that we want, and I’m a way if all we want is to be happy and positive and blogging does that for us, why on Earth would it be negative? We wouldn’t do it if we dispsied it! Preach

  25. Nov 3, 2014 / 6:13 pm

    Tamara, prelijep blog i super post. U popunosti se slazem sa tobom. Ljudi na zalost ne znaju koliko rada i truda se krije iza ovoga. Prema tome glavu gore,jer najvaznije na kraju dana da budes zadovoljna sama sobom :) Melisa
    http://www.livingoncloude9.com

  26. Nov 3, 2014 / 6:15 pm

    Blogove i blogere,treba shvatati kao takve, a svako uplitanje u njihov privatni život i anlaizu istog je van svake pameti i neumesno je.

  27. valeria katsamagkou
    Nov 3, 2014 / 6:25 pm

    Good work Tamara…!!! so true!

  28. Anonymous
    Nov 3, 2014 / 10:55 pm

    meni tu fale keksi :)))
    šala, znam da nećeš zamjeriti, svaka ti je na mjestu, naravno ukoliko je istinito.

  29. Nov 3, 2014 / 11:45 pm

    I really related to this post in more ways than i can ever tell you!
    Love this from you, because life really isn’t perfect but then again life is what you make it keep doing what you’re doing i’m literally so proud of you and you should be of yourself. it’s not easy xxx

  30. Paulina
    Nov 4, 2014 / 6:00 pm

    Čitam tvoj blog već duže vrijeme, ali nikada do sada nisam komentirala.
    Sada jednostavno moram, hvala ti na ovom divnom postu i samo tako nastavi i dalje! :) :D
    Lijepi pozdravi iz Hrvatske!

  31. Ivona
    Nov 4, 2014 / 9:09 pm

    Slazem se s apsolutno svim napisanim! A ova nova rubrika je pravo osvjezenje na blogu i stvarno uzivam u tekstovima :)

  32. Sisi
    Nov 5, 2014 / 8:55 pm

    Tamara, gde radis? Je li samo blog tvoj posao ili se bavis necim pored?

  33. Anonymous
    Nov 6, 2014 / 10:51 pm

    Retko kad komentarisem ali ovo moram. Tamara, ti si jedna zaista divna devojka i retko koja devojka tvojih godina moze da se pohvali energijom, sarmom i visprenoscu koju ti pokazujes. Tako mlada a tako zrela. Ti si zaista pravi uzor mladima i najmanje sto zasluzujes je da budes uspesna u svemu sto radis. Samo tako nastavi i sjajna karijera je pred tobom. Sve najbolje ti zelim od srca!

  34. Natassia
    Nov 11, 2014 / 10:27 pm

    A very good and insightful post!

    A lot of people have this Facebook-syndrome.. and I think it’s a wonderful gesture that you’ve written a blog-post to put some perspective and realism into what we all see on the Internet! :)

    Nevertheless.. I’d still love to have your shoes! Just kidding! (maybe).. :-P

  35. Jul 31, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    jako me inspririao post. Hvala Tamara

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